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The Immigration Fairy

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Even fairies tell it as it is

A correspondent sent us this humorous titbit ...

A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute refugee claimant outside the Heathrow immigration offices.

"My good man," the fairy said, "As you have just arrived in England with your wife and three children I've been told to grant you three wishes."

The man told the fairy: "Well, where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them."

The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and -- PING !!! He had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!

"What else?" asked the fairy. "You have two wishes remaining."

The refugee claimant now got bolder. "I need a big house with a three car garage in Oxford with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my refugee relatives who still live in my country. I want to bring them all over here."

PING! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ, overlooking the river.

"One more wish left for you," said the fairy, waving her wand.

"I want to be like the English with English clothes instead of manjams, and a baseball cap instead of this turban. And I want to have white skin just like the English."

PING! - The man was suddenly transformed. He looked in a mirror and saw his skin was white and he was wearing worn jeans, an Eagles T-shirt and a Billabong baseball cap. Then he noticed his bad teeth were back and the mansion had disappeared from view.

"What happened to my new teeth?" he wailed. "Where is my new house?"

"That's how it goes," said the fairy. "Now you are English, you're entitled to f*** all."

Editorial Comment:

Many a true word spoken in jest!

Visitors' Comments

David, Leicester writes:

B***gate Bakery has 100s of illegal immigrants working there - check it out! It's full of them. The immigration officers would have a field day there.

Editorial Comment:

We can't name this bakery because we don't have any supporting evidence. And it's not possible for us to 'check it out' - that's what the Immigration and Border Control people are supposed to do. But then, if they were doing their job properly, these illegal immigrants wouldn't be here in the first place

Sarah Jeffries, Middlesbrough writes:

Lovely racist website you have here. No attempt to sensibly and maturely discuss immigration and its downfalls and/or benefits, just childish rubbish.

Shaming companies for their ineptitude was an excellent idea I thought, but obviously the rest of the site is not up to scratch. What a shame.

Editorial Comment:

As I distinctly recall, any attempt to 'sensibly and maturely discuss immigration' with a Member of Parliament, a civil servant, a local authority officer or any other of the numerous jobsmiths that invaded our lives during the last decade merely resulted in talking to someone with deaf ears who would then completely opt themselves out of the real problems by branding you as a racist.

Then, in 2010 - when the New Labour tyrants who foisted this dire predicament upon us realised they might not be re-elected - it was suddenly OK to discuss the subject because they finally admitted it was something that actually concerned the vast majority of British people, including many who themselves had arrived on these shores as immigrants.

New Labour may have deliberately failed to control immigration for political purposes but that plan backfired on them. Unfortunately, their change of heart came too late and was totally insincere. But the damage they have done is probably irreversible and irreparable.

But please spare me the comments about childish rubbish, Ms Jeffries. If trying to retain a sense of humour prompts people like you to label me as a racist, then I really can't lose any sleep over it. If you aren't already one of the people with non-jobs employed by some local authority you can be certain there is a job for you somewhere.

"Many men stumble across the truth ... but most manage to pick themselves up and continue as if nothing had happened."

Winston S Churchill

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